Ungaba I-coastie uma:
Phakathi kwazo zonke amagatsha enkonzo kungumncintiswano wobungane oyohlale udala amahlaya phakathi kwamagatsha ahlukahlukene. Abakwa-Coast Guard bavame ukuthola amahlaya abo ngokuqala ukuthi i-Coast Guard yayiyingxenye yoMnyango Wezokuthutha (manje u-Homeland Security) hhayi uMnyango Wezokuvikela. Nasi uhlu olude lwe "Ungaba Coastie uma ...."
Ungase Ube Coastie uma ....
1. Uyazi ngokushesha ukuthi "umsebenzi ohlakaniphile, awunzima" kusho ukusikeka kwe-billet
Abantu bayakubuza ukuthi wenzani ngapha komkhawulo wamamitha amathathu
3. Ushada ukuphuma ngaphandle kwezindlu
4. Uhamba phambili enkulumweni yonke yomphakathi, "Ngizoxoxa indaba yolwandle, kodwa ngibona ukungabi namaphini kaCutterman ngaphandle, nonke ngeke niyiqonde"
5. I-Alaskan cruise ayiyona inketho yezinyanga zakho.
6. Usamazama ukuthola ukuthi yi-TQM.
7. Wake wakeka lapho ubuka i-CG yokuhweba ngo-3: 00 ekuseni, futhi wazibuza ukuthi kungani bonke abonisa ukuthi yizikebhe ze-helo nezincane
8. Uvimbe ngempumelelo okungenani ukuhlolwa okukodwa, ukuguqulwa komyalo, noma ukucubungula
9. Ngemuva kwekampu ye-boot, awukaze udubule isibhamu
10. Uzwa i-HH-65 futhi ungaboni phezulu
11. Izingcingo zakho zokudoba zinemishayo eminingi kubo kunabantu
12. Ucabanga ukuthi umnyango wehla emoyeni wakho wezemvelo
13. Ngenkathi iqhubeka, i-raft life ihamba ngokukhululekile, ikushaya ekhanda futhi uyalulekwa ngokuthi "ukulahlekelwa kokuqwashisa kwesimo"
14. Amalungu amanye amagatsha enkonzo avakashela isikhala sakho somsebenzi futhi amemeza athi, "Maye, angizange ngibone enye yale minyaka engama-20!"
15. Umqondo wakho we-aromatherapy yi-Simple Green ne-JP5.
16. ... Noma nini lapho uhamba ohambweni ulindele ukuzwa "yenza amalungiselelo okuqhubeka".
17. Uma ufika ekhaya ngempahla uyamemeza, "Zonke izandla zibeka egaraji / emgwaqeni / ekwenzeni izitolo".
18. Uzibamba ukhuluma nezingane zakho ngezwi elifanayo lezwi ozisebenzisayo ngezinga lakho elingelona amanani ... noma ingabe enye indlela?
19. Awunaso isiqiniseko sokuthi kukhona ukuphila ngempela lapho, okungukuthi ezweni langempela.
20. Kubonakala njalo lapho ubheka i-movie ithi ngaphansi kweskrini "Indawo ye-US Navy"
21. Uma ngabe abantu bethi kuwe, "I-Coast Guard iyisosha?"
22. Ungase ube yi-TC Coastie uma wonke umuntu emkhunjini ekubuza ukuthi wenzani ekamelweni lomsakazo bese esehlanya ngoba uthi, "Ngingakutshela kepha ngabe kufanele nginibulale!"
23. Uma ukulala emva kokubukwa phakathi kwesikhatsi bekulokhu kunzima ngenxa yelanga elihlala liphezulu ngenhla ukulahla uhlelo lwakho.
24. Uma umkhumbi wakho unikezwa uhlu lwamabhizinisi abasebenzi bakho abamukelekile ngesikhathi sokubiza kwabo ...
25. Ushiye ichweba enezibonakaliso ezingaphezu kwesisodwa kusuka esikebheni sezindiza ...
26. Uvuke endaweni "ebomvu" ePanama.
27. I-WMEC isho ukuthi 'Kumelwe Sidle Inkukhu' kuwe.
28. Uma isikebhe sakho esineminyaka engama-40 siqhubeka ngoMsombuluko sibheke ukujikeleza kweviki eli-6 kanti usaqhubeka nokuhlela ngempelasonto ngoba uyazi ukuthi isikebhe sizodiliza phakathi kwezinsuku ezingu-2-3.
29. Ungase ube Coastie uma umkhumbi wakho uthumela i-CASREP esiphuthumayo ngenxa yekhofi ephukile.
30. Ungase ube yiCoastie uma amaMarines ecasulwa lapho ekubona ukuthi usebenzisa izikhali zangempela esikhali sakho.
31. Uma ingane yakho ibhekisela esikebheni noma esiteshini "lapho ubaba ehlala khona"
32. Uthi unomfazi kuzo zonke izikebhe, kodwa usenogwini olwandle.
33. Ugijima uvela ekhishini, uhambe phezu kweja, uwele bese ushaya ikhanda lakho etafuleni lekhofi ukuze ubone i-blip yesibili e-TV uma uzwa amagama athi "Coast Guard"!
34. Wena PANIC uma kufanele ugqoke izingubo ezinhle zomshoshaphansi ngaphandle ngoba awukwazi ukubala umbala ngoba awukwazi enye ngaphandle kweluhlaza okwesibhakabhaka.
35. Umkakho uyakubheka engajwayelekile futhi uphuma, "Awuyena oyiNhloko yami, futhi ngiyaqiniseka ukuthi isihogo asiyena Omama wakho omdabu!"
36. Uma uphendule amagama amaningi ukuze uthole ukuthi ungawapela kanjani.
37. Utshela izingane zakho ukuthi ngoLwesihlanu zingukuthi 'izinsuku zasensimini'
38. Uma ukholwa ukuthi i-USCG imele ngempela "Uncle Samson Confused Group"
39. Ungathola isigameko sotshwala bese uqhubeka ngesonto elifanayo