Ukukhulumisana okungapheli kanye nelulwimi lwelulwimi luhlanganisa zonke izici zokuxhumana ngaphandle kwamazwi akho. Kuyinto ebusweni bakho, ukuxhumana kwamehlo akho, ukuthinta isandla, ukuma kwakho, ithoni yakho, ukuthinta kwakho, ngisho nemvelo yakho. Ngokubambisana, yizona "izibonakaliso ezingenamazwi ezikhuluma ngokubanzi," kusho uDarlene Price, umqeqeshi wezinkulumo eziphezulu kanye nomlobi we "Well Said." Ulinganisela ukuthi ukukhulumisana okungekho emthethweni kungathwala amaphesenti angama-65 kuya ku-93 amaphesenti amaningi kunamazwi akho akhulunywa ngawo.
Nakuba lokho kungase kubonakale kusabisa, ubuhle bokuxhumana okungenabuntu ukuthi noma ubani angaba mnandi kuso. Cabanga ngalo ikhono elingasungulwa, elithuthukisiwe, futhi lisetshenziswe ngendlela efanele emsebenzini-futhi okubaluleke kakhulu abesifazane ukuba bahlale bekhumbula. Ukuhlukana okuhlukile kobulili emaqenjini angabonakali kungavumela abesifazane ukuba bangathathwa ngokujulile emsebenzini futhi bakhuphuke esitelekeni sebhizinisi, kusho iNtengo.
Ufuna ukuqinisekisa ukuthi ukukhulumisana kwakho okungaqondile kukusiza ukuthi uqhubeke emsebenzini? Landela la macebo.
Smile kanye Nod With Inhloso
Uyazi ukuthi unamazwi angaphezu kuka-10? "Abesifazane abasebenzisi abaningi kuphela, kepha ngokuvamile bayakwazi ukubona, ukuhumusha nokuhlola isimo sobuso babanye," kusho uBen Sorensen, umqeqeshi ophezulu ku-Optimum Associates.
Futhi ezinye izinkulumo zinezincazelo ezahlukene kwabesifazane kunokuba zenzelwe amadoda. Thatha ukumomotheka nokugubha, isibonelo.
"Ukumomotheka kuyisignali yomzimba womzimba," kusho u-Price. Kubuye kube nokuziphatha okuphansi, yingakho iqiniso lokuthi abesifazane bathanda ngaphezu kwamadoda akuyona into enhle. Nakuba ukuhlonipha, ukufinyeleleka nokuthandwa kubalulekile, uma ukhululekile kakhulu-ikakhulukazi ngezikhathi eziphezulu noma ngezikhathi zokuxabana-khona-ke abantu ngeke bakuphathe ngokungathí sina.
Bambisa lokho kumomotheka ngekhanda noma ukujikijela futhi ungabe uzibeka engozini enkulu.
"Uma unomuntu, ikakhulukazi kunoma yiluphi uhlobo lokuxoxisana, sebenzisa umzimba ngendlela efanele," kusho i-Price. "Awukho (ikhanda) ukujikijela-lokho kungaphansi. Gcina ikhanda lakho iqonde njengoba le ndoda ivame. [Gcina] ubuso bakho bungathathi hlangothi futhi bukhuni futhi bumamathele uma noma nini kunesizathu. "
Gcina i-Two-Second Gaze
Esilungiselelweni sobuchwepheshe, ukuxhumana kwamehlo kuveza ukuzethemba nokuzibandakanya. Ngakho-ke, lapho ukhuluma emhlanganweni, ufuna ukugcina iso lokuxhumana okungenani imizuzwana emibili nomuntu ngamunye ekamelweni, kuqala noma ubani ophakeme kuwe. "Uthi uyathembekile, kufanelekile futhi uqaphele lokho okushoyo," kusho i-Price. Inkinga yilapho ukuxhumana kwamehlo kufushane-noma isikhathi eside-kunalokho. Ezimweni eziphakeme noma ezikhathini ezicindezelayo, iningi lethu libhekene ne-eye-dart esikhundleni, sizama ukuthola induduzo esilingeni noma phansi. Lokhu kubonisa ubuthakathaka. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, imizuzwana engaphezu kwemihlanu, iphenduka ukwesatshiswa noma ukusondelana-okungekho okufanelekile esimweni sebhizinisi.
Yenza Ukuthinta Okuphansi Nebanzi
Ingabe uhlushwa "ngezingalo ze-Velcro?" Yilokho okubizwa nge-Price uma izingalo zakho ezingaphezulu zinamathele ku-torso yakho, okwenza ubonakale uncane futhi uvaliwe ngaphezulu.
"Abesifazane bayoba nomzimba wabo ovela emigqeni yabo, ngakho-ke izimboni zabo zihamba kuphela hhayi izingalo zabo zonke," kusho i-Price. Ukuthinta amadoda, ngakolunye uhlangothi, kunamathuba amaningi okuvela emahlombe abo, ukudala ukunyakaza okuphansi, okubanzi okubukeka kakhudlwana nokuzethemba. "Ithuba lokusebenzisa izandla zakho engxoxweni likhulisa ubukhona obunjalo nobukhona besifazane," i-Sorensen iyavuma.
Ngakho qala ukudala isikhala sakho ngokwengeziwe. Uma umile futhi ubeke izandla zakho ndawonye okhalweni lwakho, zama ukukhipha kancane kancane ukuze wenze isikhala. Uma uhlezi emhlanganweni, zama ukubeka izintambo zakho etafuleni bese ubeka izandla zakho ndawonye ukuze wenze intaba.
Futhi, gwema ukuvala izandla zakho. Ikhuluma izinzwa nokuhlupha.
Hamba Uhambe Njengomholi
Isikhundla sikhuluma ngobuholi, kusho iNtengo.
Ukuma kwakho nokuthi ungena kanjani ekamelweni kokubili kubaluleke kakhulu. Futhi kufana nendlela abesifazane abazenza ngayo encane ngezandla zabo, benza kanjalo ngezindlela zabo kanye, ngokuwela umlenze owodwa phezu komunye. Abesifazane banamathuba amaningi okubeka isisindo esingaphezu kwesinye kunomunye, kubangele ukuba bashintshe izinyathelo zabo futhi babonakale bengalingani. Esikhundleni salokho, ume ngesisindo sakho ngokusatshalaliswa ngokulinganayo kunyawo ngalunye. Uzobukeka ubambelele, uzinzile, ukhokhiswe, futhi ulawule. Ngokufanayo, lapho uhlala emhlanganweni, ufuna amahlombe akho ehlombe ethinta ngemuva kwesihlalo, izingalo zakho ngokulinganayo zilinganiselwe kuzo zombili izibambo zokuhlala, futhi, ngokufanele, zombili izinyawo zithinta umhlabathi. Uma ufuna ukwenza isitatimende, noma kunjalo, yilapho uncike khona-ngokoqobo.
Yeka ukuzibuza
Izwi lakho, noma ukuthi uzwakala kanjani lapho ukhuluma, libhekene namaphesenti angaba ngu-40 emagama akho, "ngokusho kocwaningo oluvela ku-UCLA. Futhi ngethoni, kukhona ukungafani kobulili kunanoma yiluphi olunye uhlobo lokuxhumana okungenalutho, kusho iNtengo. Amaphesenti amathathu aphezulu kulabo besifazane: upspeak (noma uptalk), ukukhuluma ngesivinini, nokugoba.
- I-Upspeak yi-intonation ekhulayo ekupheleni kwesitatimende esenza kube umsindo njengombuzo, okwenza uzwakale ungaqiniseki ngalokho okushoyo.
- Khuluma ngokusheshisa futhi umlaleli wakho akanakukuqonda. Amazwi angaba ngu-150 ngomzuzu yijubane elikhulu.
- Ukwehliswa kuhilela ukuqeda izitatimende zakho ngeziqu kanye nemibuzo: "Awucabangi?" "Kulungile?"
Ziqopha futhi ulalele ukuze ubone ukuthi unomkhuba wokwenza noma yikuphi okukwenziwe ngenhla, noma ucele abangani ukuba benze ukuhlolwa kwama-buddy. Futhi, qiniseka ukuthi ukhululekile ngokwanele ukuba uzwakale. Ngokuvamile abesifazane bakhulunywa ngaphezulu emihlanganweni futhi kungenziwa ngenxa yevolumu yabo, kusho iSorensen.
Qalisa Ukuxhaphaza Njalo Isikhathi.
Okokugcina, nansi amandla athile okuhambisa ukufaka kwi-arsenal yakho: Njalo qalisa isandla sokubamba ngesandla . Yenza kube iqinile, isomile futhi uqiniseke. Futhi ungakhohlwa ukuxhumana naye, futhi.
With Kelly Hultgren